There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize