You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
