I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am one with the molecules
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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