oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
