Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
