Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
