i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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