need another drink. this is the easiest way
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
