My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize