So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think my vagina is haunted
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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