fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize