if i can run in heels then i can drive
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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