Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
