She's JV to your varsity
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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