i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
