Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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