i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
