AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
