last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
