It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
