i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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