I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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