..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
