How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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