Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
