we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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