Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
