And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
