Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I am one with the molecules
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
