3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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