Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
