If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
