did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
