Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
