This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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