I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
