You just made me feel so damn special
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize