I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
