Cold hands, warm shart.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
