could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
