I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think people are normalizing furries
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
