somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
