Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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