He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
