I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
