I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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