if i can run in heels then i can drive
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Houston, we have a squirter
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
