i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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