What a fucking waste of an outfit
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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