nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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