i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
