get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
