Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish you could order shots online.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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