How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
