I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
