If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
