belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
