I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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