I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think your dad took our porno
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
