For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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