Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
