I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
