My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
