would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
