we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
