from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
