She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
