We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
